Dear lifeline,
Looking
back on my journey -the greatest gift that you gave me was to show me
who I am without my jobs or studies. It's ironic-I feel like I really
shone when no one knew who and what I was-I thrived more when I felt
less pressure to be someone. I loved Neil and Lynette and my group. Its
sad, I feel like I’ve lost that space - that safe space that you gave
me each week to show up and truly be seen.
You
also helped me to in many ways pick up the pieces of a heart that I
didn’t realise was quite as broken as it truly was. You taught me that
I will always feel something, but that’s not the same as before.
You
helped me to learn that I am capable of standing up for myself and that
I can progress in that area - which I rarely have at work.
You have opened up my life by guiding me through the wonders that lie
at the core of an empathic heart. You ever so gently showed me what it
is like to make space for myself and others- I don’t always do that,
but I am trying.
I
learnt that the world is in some ways so different, yet we all go
through the same stuff. There is a huge sense of similarity at the heart
of life.
The
only way that I can thank you, is by doing my best to live the life
that you want for me. A kind life, a compassionate one- a person centred
one. I promise that I will try my best to spread your legacy and to
most of all, do my best to allow people the chance to be as seen and
heard as you have made me feel.
Thank you for everything and just know that you will always be close to my heart.
LISTEN – a poem written by someone who just understands how important listening is when counselling.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you start giving me advice,
You have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you begin to tell me ‘why’ I shouldn’t feel that way,
You are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you feel you have to do something to solve my problems,
You have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I ask is that you listen;
Not talk, nor do – just hear me.
And I can do for myself – I’m not helpless
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me, that I can and need to do for myself,
You contribute to my fear and weakness.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,
No matter how irrational
Then I quit trying to convince you
And can get about the business of understanding
What’s behind this irrational feeling?
When that’s clear,
The answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we
Understand what’s behind them.
Perhaps that’s why prayer works sometimes for some people;
Because God is mute, and doesn’t give advice to try to ‘fix’ things,
He/She just listens, and lets you work it out for yourself.
So please listen, and just hear me, and if you want to talk,
Wait a minute for your turn, and I’ll listen to you.
Anon
One of the things that LifeLine knows so well is the sadness that many clients suffer when there is a life that is just not working out for them.
The hand you’re dealt is seldom svelte
The hand you’re dealt along this path
Is sometimes harsh and cruel.
You just cannot escape the truth
That earth is one tough school.
Without an explanation.
A bolt out of the blue.
There’s little consolation
As you feel the turning screw.
One hundred million questions
Infiltrate your mind.
But answers aren’t forthcoming
To get you out this bind.
Can leave you shocked and reeling
Bewildered, dazed and raw.
Need every ounce of courage
To rise up off the floor.
Vincent Higgins
Many calls that Lifeline gets are about addiction and the despair addicts go through. This poem sums it up so well.
Addiction
There’s this curse that is a craving
And it courses through one’s veins.
Wreaks such untold crushing mayhem
Time and time and time again.
Has a single minded focus
Casts its spell and weaves its web.
Disregards your voice of reason
And all those times NO has been said.
With an urge that’s so compelling
And the promise of quick relief.
Treats your will with rank derision
Yet the fix is oh so brief.
Scoffs and scorns at all the warnings
Turns a deaf ear to your pleas.
Cold and cruel and ever ruthless
Brings you swiftly to your knees.
It's this heartless, wicked monster
That’s ensnared you in its lair.
To escape its evil clutches
Must be bold and have to dare.
Vincent Higgins
These are poems written by a course attendees in 2013 and 2016 about the journey of the LifeLine course and how sometimes it was really hard for those attending.
The Group
Listen beneath the surface
Look behind the smile.
Within the silent shadow
Hides a daily trial.
Much courage did I witness
Great lessons did I learn.
To be part of such a gathering
My mind will often turn.
Vincent Higgins 2013
It wasn’t enough
The nine gathered, with two able guides, to start a journey
(none really knew where)
A band of individuals tentative, hopeful, fearful, forceful
attempting to explore something un-named
to prove something un-nameable
Histories, stories and experience flowed:
Someone alone, but the centre and strength of a family
– and yet it wasn’t enough
Shattered dreams, but growing to accept and fiercely love
– and yet it wasn’t enough
Great ills and illness, overcome by growing gentle and kind
– and yet it wasn’t enough
Broken childhoods, and surviving and fighting through
– and yet it wasn’t enough
Identity lost and a self hidden, becoming urgent and assertive –
and yet it wasn’t enough
Returning to turmoil, within and without, but clear and incisive –
and yet it wasn’t enough
Hiding long years of hurt with optimism –
and yet it wasn’t enough
Diminished in role and standing, yet striving and probing –
and yet it wasn’t enough
A nomad shamed and shameful, but pushing bravely on through
– and yet it wasn’t enough
But slowly,
in time metered out by our own courage
finding expression in a place slowly warming,
a space gradually more familiar and shared, safer
We let our guard down, allowed the mask to slip
Sometimes falling, sometimes cracking, sometimes shattering
many years of defence so carefully and needfully constructed
fall, slip, fade
Open and vulnerable – for some, for me, to feel some of what had felt
beyond feeling, Beyond coping, Beyond sharing
mine alone
Beyond understanding and words, we started to sense that it was enough
to listen and share, to bear witness to our fellows
To be present
Sometimes in silence
(alone on those sleepless Wednesday nights),
sometimes in union and unison with the group,
sometimes in words,
sometimes in expressions and eyes alone
We listened to past, to present and futures
We shared hurt, shared fear and shame
We witnessed dreams broken, myths shattered, selves and souls renewing
We were present with sorrow – and not disheartened
We were present with anger – and not afraid
and felt in others something familiar
a little less threatening and much less ugly than seen in ourselves alone
We shared laughter and mirth,
joy and rejection,
breaking and breakthrough,
ruin and growth
Sometimes painful, sometimes angry,
or fragile, or gentle
But shared, acknowledged, respected
It wasn’t enough to sit by idly,
alone
buffered and buffeted by this – this frail, fraught, strong and mercurial life
It was – and is – enough to simply be active and present, with another
worthy to share and be part of the chaos of collective experience
And know that we are not alone – That now seems enough
Barry Hearne
Lifeline group once graduated and the great way they feel when they are ready to help others.
LifeLine Graduation Group 2013 Poem
The course is done, the grads are ready
Your minds they’ll ease and hearts they’ll steady.
To hear your plight and help you on
They like it when your stress is gone.
So if you’re low or feeling down
There is one place to call in town.
A call to Life Line in Norwood
Where you’ll be heard and understood.
Our work is both a skill and art
With every end there’s a brand new start.
As constant growth is what takes place
Whether on the phone or face to face.
Vincent Higgins
This poem is about time how and how we cannot ever control Time
Time
The march and the mend
Sometimes foe sometimes friend
Always quiet but never still
Has its own silent will.
Shows no malice has no favourites
Be they sinners, saints or zealots
Can’t be stopped by bombs or bullets
Slow as treacle flies like rockets.
Can break it down but never break it
That’s the truth never mistake it
Of such great value yet so squandered
A timeless fact but seldom pondered.
Without a trace does quickly vanish
Often leaves us with great anguish.
Can’t be bottled can’t be kept
Those who’ve tried have only wept.
On and on and on it goes
Cascading rivers gentle flows.
Is both your helper and your master
And with each year it travels faster.
Can heal can harm with any stroke
Yet cares not what it does evoke.
Gone for good yet more will come
Such an eternal conundrum.
Vincent HIggins